Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Shades of Blue

Dear BigDudeUpThere/Existence/Superconsciousness/Whosoever cares to listen to a speck like me in the Universe,

I have been working for your organisation for 20 measly years. I am extremely disappointed to bring to your attention that my job role is hardly ever fun and on most days, it breaks me down. Most of your employees are rude, unethical and at times, downright absurd. As if that is not enough, they are also inherently stupid and no matter how much induction and training they go through, they never improve. I would like to know why they have not been laid off yet.

Moreover, your honourably retarted HR department which is ideally all about managing people does nothing but point and laugh at our lives. Oh, and of course, throw the occasional snide remark too. It never registers our complaints or our wishes. I have not been rewarded with a raise in years. I have tried hard to like my job but my job description just isn’t good enough. Also, the working hours are simply inhuman. I would like to have the weekends off, with my poor mind at complete rest. I would also like an occasional holiday, and no, that does not mean being forced to attend loud weddings.

Then, there is the meteorological department that has been completely messed up. Winter played truant and did not come at all to visit us this time. Rain has been missing in action for nearly six months too now. It simply sends it garden-sprinklers kind of third cousins while what I would like is the Real Rain, the Zakir-Hussain-playing-tabla-on-the-roof kind.

On this note, I would like to put forward my appeal to be transferred to some other world - it has been a good learning experience but I need to move on to someplace better now.

Thank you.

PS: This is one of those wicked anonymous letters that you read about in trashy paperback novels.


Ram said...

Hey moron! I was reading my old blog and came across your nonsensical and stupid comments.

Good to know you are maintaining your standards of stupidity.

Sneha Puttu said...

hey..just came across ur blog...i like! :)

S said...

I miss reading your stuff. Come back and write soon!

Coconut Chutney said...

I am totally not liking you deleting your archives. Why? :(

manveergrewal said...

I have tried communicating with the 'divide power' sometimes. It just doesn't work. As I said before, he just smiles (a mirror in one hand and a 'Keep Going' sign in the other). I don't particularly appreciate his demeanor :)

Anonymous said...

Please start writing again! I really like your writing style :)


Bhel Puri & Seekh Kabab said...

Dear Speck

Your contributions to this organization are well appreciated. However, if you feel you are not being rewarded, we feel the best course of action may be to seek another line of employment.

We will be happy to provide a letter of reference.

BigDude and The Management

p.s. please to keep writing

SK said...

LOL!! :--) Very creative. :--D
Whats happening? Long time no see?

Gradwolf said...

err, why does your March post update today on my reader? Is your blog as screwed up as you are?

Drenched said...

Ram: Shut up, double-moron! And what the hell is it with your blog being password protected? Invite me, fool!

Sneha: :)

S: Someday. :P

Chutney: Big mishtake wonly. They're still on my PC though. Maybe I'll repost some of them.

Manveer: I don't appreciate the demeanour either. I suppose I could just whine and follow his sign.

Smita: Like I said to S, someday soon again. :)

BPSK: Dear BigDude and The Management,

Along with the reference letter, kindly suggest the new line of employment too.

Best regards and all that,

SK: Long time indeed. Just been occupied with this and that. :P

Stupid Adi Padi: There was a problem with my feed settings which has now been resolved. And I'm not screwed up!! x-( Hmph.

V said...

We currently aren't entertaining any transfers so you are fired.

Drenched said...

V: And who are you to fire me, you nincompoop? I'll complain about you, and then you'll be fired and fried before you can even blink. Fool.