So much has happened in the last two or three weeks, that I haven’t really been able to sit back and think about anything. At the end of nearly every single day, I have whined and wailed to my Hobbes about the uselessness of metaphorical rocketship underpants. I haven’t been able to read. I haven’t been able to write. I haven’t been able to detach myself from the regular goings-on of my life, and present a Philip Larkin-ish view of them - something I was quite good at not very long ago. In fact, I’m not sure I like being detached anymore. I feel like I’m one with my life again... like I’m starting from scratch.
A long and meaningful midnight conversation tonight helped me come to terms with several minor crises in my life - the existence of which I had otherwise been trying to deny. Being optimistic is good, being optimistic is helpful... but I’m not sure I can get by with only optimism. I need to get a grip on myself, and I need to lie back, take a deep breath, and relax. And while I’m at it, I need to go over everything in my head - over and over again, until I'm quite bored.
And... it’s amazing how one random line sums up a lot of feelings sometimes. Two nights ago, I finally had a conversation I really needed to have with someone, albeit online... and while I was sitting there, trying to understand and get some sort of closure, a friend pinged me on GTalk with her views on something else - “Hmmm, yeah... let it be. Shit happens”. Indeed. I need to give her a tight hug the next time I see her.
Meanwhile, I need to make my New Year’s Resolutions list. I had initially decided not to bother but then thought of doing it anyway. After all, if there are no resolutions, what else will I break throughout the year?
Also, I think what I need is a Jeeves kind of pick-me-up. Recommend me an outrageously funny Wodehouse... the make-me-run-around-the-place-laughing-my-head-off style funny.