I think there are some distinct advantages of being a girlie girl - the bath gels, lotions, lip balms, shampoos, conditioners and all have the most gorgeous of names. I am not sure about other girls but I buy a lot of those products just because they sound nice. I have actually gone weak-kneed in stores when I see stuff with names like these written on them:
Acai Berries and Satin
Coco Mango and Pearls
Honeyed Pear and Silk
Tea Tree and Rosemary
Orchid and Coconut Milk
French Lavender and Jade Extracts
Diamond Dust and Champagne
I reckon the trick to naming a pretty product is calling it “______ and ______”. You see, it must be two things, never one.
By the way, I have no idea what the hell “Diamond Dust” is, but can you imagine using it to wash your face? Heavenly.
Oh, and “Tea Tree and Rosemary”... you know, it could be the name of some children’s tale and those could be the names of its lead characters. Wait, it already is...
It was a bright summer morning, and Tea Tree decided to visit his friend Rosemary. He walked on past the rosebushes for about half a mile until he reached the huge tree where Rosemary lived. He knocked on the bark but no one appeared. He knocked again and waited a while. Then, his patience ran out.
“Rosy!” he shouted, “Come on out! It’s a lovely day!”
Rosemary peered from the highest branch at Tea Tree in his cowboy boots and his sombrero, and a superb idea came to her mind.
“Tea Tree,” she called to him, “Could you please pick out some wildberries from that bush down the birch path?”
“What are you doing up there? Come downstairs!” he shouted back.
“Get me the wildberries first.”
“Whatever for?” Tea Tree looked up at her impatiently, irritated because he wanted to tell her about the rabbit with red polka dots that he had seen on his way.
“Just do it!” she called.
“First tell me why you need them.”
“Are you getting me the wildberries or not?”
“What did you say?” her eyebrows shot up.
“I said, ‘No problem’. I’ll bring you your strawberries,” he mumbled loud enough for her to hear.
“Not strawberries. I want wildberries. Wait, I’ll just toss you a map for the wildberry bush.”
“No, I think I know where it is,” Tea Tree said.
“That’s what you said the last time too... the time you got lost, remember?” Rosemary giggled.
“I am telling you, I know where it is,” he assured her.
“Okay, but still take the map to be safe.”
“I don’t need a map. I can find it on my own.”
“Come on, don’t be stubborn. Here, catch!” she shouted, as she threw him the map.
“I told you I didn’t want a silly map!” he shouted back, ducking.
“Just get the wildberries!”
“Stupid bitch! Go and get them yourself.”
“Stupid bastard! I don’t need your bloody help anyway. I can very well take care of myself.”
Morals of the story, kids:
1.) Men never ask for directions.
2.) Women always have the last word.
I know many such people.